Dear God,

How are you? Can you hear me all the time? Do you actually answer all emails, texts, phones, screams, cries, mental telepathy and all the other of millions of ways I try to reach you? Because if you do, it's not clear. And I like clarity when it works for me and all others times vagueness will work.

Firstly, I just want to thank you for all these amazing ideas you send my way, but...I don't want to be rude or anything but although you are God, I think you might be losing your touch and you  might not know who I am. I am not this 'let's get up and take the world by storm' kinda person. I'm more like omg there is a storm...Run! 

Yes, I know I did give birth to a baby in the middle of a hurricane with no electricity or water but I was kinda forced into it. Great ideas are for people who believe in them self. yes, I hear you, you believe in me, but to be honest I am not exactly happy with you. Why, you ask? Remember my childhood...You don't remember? Well I do and I'm not sure that I want to hear from someone who threw me into the deep end. Oh, you think I could handle it. Well than you really don't know who I am. I am a big CHICKEN! 

Let me me be clear I am only getting off this couch for the lottery numbers. You owe me big time! So thanks anyway for the ideas. I'm sure they're great and maybe you can up-cycle them to someone else who would use them.

All the best,


P.S. I'll leave a pen and paper by the bed in case you want to leave the numbers in the middle of the night. :)